TRIGGER THE TWO WORDS THAT IMMEDIATELY TRANSFORM ANY NEGOTIATION
Chapter 5 emphasizes the power of 'That's right' in negotiations, arguing it signifies genuine understanding and agreement, leading to breakthroughs. It contrasts this with 'You're right,' which often implies dismissal. The chapter uses real-life hostage negotiation scenarios (Abu Sayyaf) and personal anecdotes (his son, Brandon) to demonstrate how active listening, empathy, and summarizing can elicit 'That's right,' facilitating behavior change and successful outcomes in various contexts, from hostage situations to sales and career negotiations.
Key Stories & Examples
Jeffrey Schilling Hostage Negotiation
The story details Chris Voss's involvement in negotiating the release of Jeffrey Schilling, an American hostage held by the Abu Sayyaf group in the Philippines. The key was getting Abu Sabaya, the rebel leader, to say 'That's right' by summarizing his grievances and acknowledging his perspective, which ultimately led to the war damages demand disappearing and Schilling's eventual escape.
Achieving a 'That's right' breakthrough by actively listening and summarizing the adversary's viewpoint can dissolve barriers and pave the way for successful negotiation, even with hardened criminals.
Brandon's Football Career
This anecdote recounts how Voss helped his son, Brandon, improve his football performance by getting him to acknowledge why he was reluctant to dodge blockers. By labeling his feelings ('You seem to think it’s unmanly to dodge a block'), Voss prompted Brandon to say 'That's right,' leading to a change in his behavior and improved performance.
Identifying and addressing the underlying beliefs or emotions that prevent someone from changing their behavior can unlock a 'That's right' moment, enabling them to overcome obstacles and achieve their goals.
Pharmaceutical Sales Representative
A student of Voss used the 'That's right' technique to win over a skeptical doctor. By focusing on the doctor's passion for his patients and summarizing his treatment approaches, she got him to say 'That's right,' building trust and ultimately leading to a successful sale of her company's new product.
Understanding and acknowledging a client's needs and motivations can build rapport and create a 'That's right' moment, transforming a skeptical prospect into a receptive customer.
Korean Student's Career Negotiation
A Korean student used 'That's right' to negotiate with his former boss for a job in a different department. By asking questions and summarizing the ex-boss's needs for networking and promotion support, he got him to say 'That's right,' securing the desired position and uncovering hidden motivations.
Strategic questioning and summarizing can reveal underlying needs and motivations, leading to a 'That's right' moment that unlocks unexpected opportunities and favorable outcomes in career negotiations.