💡 Key Concepts

BE A MIRROR

5 concepts to master

Tactical Empathy / Active Listening / Forced Empathy / Understanding the Other Party's Perspective

Concept

Listening as a martial art, balancing emotional intelligence and influence to gain access to another person's mind and increase your influence. Encompasses actively focusing entirely on the other person, prioritizing their perspective, and creating situations where they are compelled to consider your needs, including understanding their worldview and values.

How It Works

By actively listening and demonstrating understanding, you build rapport, gain trust, elicit needs, anticipate actions, and persuade the other party by showing empathy, leading them to become less defensive and more open to your viewpoint. Use calibrated 'How' questions to prompt reciprocity and engage the other party. Understanding core beliefs builds rapport and allows for tailored solutions. Similarity increases rapport and facilitates trust. Tactical empathy uses labeled emotions to create a safe environment.

Assumptions vs. Hypotheses

Concept

Good negotiators use multiple hypotheses and test them with new information, rather than relying on untested assumptions.

How It Works

Assumptions limit perception and agility by creating a flawed, unchanging view, while hypotheses allow for flexibility and adaptation based on new information gathered during the negotiation.

Slowing Down Negotiation

Concept

Slowing down the pace of a negotiation helps to calm the situation and allows for better information gathering and rapport building.

How It Works

By avoiding rushing to a quick solution, you allow the other party to feel heard, build trust, and prevent undermining the negotiation process, while also providing time to gather information.

The Voice (Late-Night FM DJ Voice)

Concept

Using a deep, soft, slow, and reassuring voice to convey control and calm in a negotiation.

How It Works

The downward-inflecting tone of voice communicates that you are in control, which calms the other party and creates a sense of safety, making them more receptive to what you have to say.

Mirroring (Isopraxism)

Concept

Imitating the other person's speech patterns, vocabulary, or key words to create rapport and trust.

How It Works

Repeating the last three words (or the critical few words) of what someone has just said triggers an unconscious mirroring instinct, making the counterpart feel understood and encouraging them to elaborate.