THE NEW RULES
Chapter 1, "The New Rules," introduces the author's background as an FBI hostage negotiator and contrasts his practical experience with the theoretical approaches to negotiation taught at Harvard. The chapter highlights the limitations of purely rational, problem-solving negotiation techniques when dealing with emotionally charged situations. It emphasizes the importance of understanding human psychology and using emotional intelligence, particularly tactical empathy, to influence outcomes. The author recounts his experiences at Harvard, both in an executive course and a law school negotiation class, to illustrate the effectiveness of the FBI's emotionally-driven approach compared to the more traditional, rational methods.
Key Stories & Examples
The Harvard Negotiation Exercise
The author is challenged by Harvard negotiation professors Robert Mnookin and Gabriella Blum in a mock hostage situation where they 'kidnap' his son. Mnookin demands $1 million. The author uses open-ended, calibrated questions like, 'How am I supposed to do that?' to deflect their demands and force them to address the logistical problems of getting the money. They get frustrated and end the exercise.
Open-ended questions can shift the frame of a negotiation, create the illusion of control for the other party, and buy you time while revealing their constraints. It also highlights the importance of not being easily bulldozed by demands.
Harvard Law School Winter Negotiation Course
The author participates in a winter negotiation course at Harvard Law School. He consistently outperforms his classmates, including one named Andy, by using simple questions and active listening techniques. He completely depletes Andy's budget in a mock negotiation, showcasing the effectiveness of his emotionally-attuned approach over the students' rational, logic-based strategies.
Practical experience and understanding of human psychology can be more effective than purely theoretical knowledge. Asking questions that make the other party question themselves can be a very strong tactic.
The Downs Hijacking Case
The chapter recounts the 1971 Downs hijacking case where the FBI's impatience and use of force led to the deaths of hostages, including the hijacker's estranged wife and the pilot. This case became a pivotal moment, highlighting the need for negotiation over brute force, and leading to the development of hostage negotiation techniques.
The use of force without attempting negotiation can lead to disastrous outcomes. This event emphasizes the importance of a reasonable attempt at negotiation before tactical intervention.